**Notice**

It is so frustrating to want something so bad and not be able to have it...I** always wonder why life throws curve balls or lessons or events that make me crazy; but the hardest events and lessons are those that are out of reach and (seem) impossible. It "seems" right now that I am irritated and not into life like I usually am and I really think it is because reality hit me in the face...some things that are out of reach might just stay out of reach...and all beacause of choices I made...soooooooooooo frustrated...almost like miss**ed opportunities...

As I sit frustrated, I am also happy for a friend tonight...an unexpected event hit them today but I think it is a good thing...I hope...you** never know what is right around the corner.

And, for another friend... I used incorrect and funny punctuation in this blog...just to get a smile...

~Why~

I am not usually a Rascal Flatts' fan, but I love this new song...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HlkV-MNl0qY

I always say, "Do you ever really know a person?" This song illustrates so nicely how a person can be masking pain and others are not even aware. There have been many people that I have known over the years that seem content and happy....but, eventually it all breaks through and the truth is found out...hmmmm, "How well do you know your friends, neighbors, loved ones?" Just makes me always try to end conversations with a smile, because you never know when the comments or conversations could be the last conversation that sends a person straight over the edge...

~Smile: Luv it~

Love this new song...here is a blip...:

Even when you're gone
Somehow you come along
Just like a flower poking the sidewalk crack and just like that
You steal away the rain...
~Uncle Kracker: Smile~

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BMbZ1yeLcM8

~:)~

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1lTWXa0oyA

Love this song...makes me proud to be a mom to my own two...:) Because in the end, isn't that what is most important?

~trust~

I have always struggled with trusting other people...and today was no different. I am constantly struggling with giving up control and trusting other people...

Tonight was an example of a good person and trust. My husband stopped at Taco Villa on his way home to bring us dinner (of course, since I do not cook!). Anyway, when he opened his wallet to pay he did not have his debit card...and no other form of payment. Anyway, the manager told him to take the food and come back at a later time to pay...HOLY COW!! The manager did not know my husband, but trusted that he would in fact return with the money...

He delivered the food to us and returned to pay...hmmmmm, maybe trust is an okay thing.

Ugly as sin...

A friend today used a phrase that made me think...the phrase that something (i can't even remember that part!!!) was "ugly as sin..." Anyway, I had not heard that in years...and, was wondering is sin ugly? Sins are definitely in the eye of the beholder...I mean, of course, there are sins that are obvious such as stealing or murder or hurting any form of life...but, those are obvious and obviously ugly...obviously sins. But, there are other sins that could be beautiful. I decided today (after hearing that phrase of course!!) that we shouldn't judge others sins or even categorize behaviors as sins...that we should reserve our judgements to our own lives..."sinning" could be beautiful...

I heard this quote several years ago and found it again...sin can be whatever...whatever...

“Sin is whatever obscures the soul.”
Andre Gide

And of course, from the Book of Proverbs..."six things the Lord hateth, and the seventh His soul detesteth" :
Haughty eyes
A lying tongue
Hands that shed innocent blood
A heart that devises wicked plots
Feet that are swift to run into mischief
A deceitful witness that uttereth lies
Him that soweth discord among brethren

So, don't lie, hurt another or look for trouble and it seems that you will be free from sin...Below are my "sinful" delights (sinful because someone else has passed judgement on these acts and delights because I love them):
~Starbucks every single day
~Not giving my daughter a bath nightly
~Eating desert first or only eating desert
~Not balancing my checkbook to the penny
~Not making my bed and not making my kids make theirs
~Holding people's feelings near to my heart
~Fighting back
~Being strong and independent

Choices...

Lately, I have been faced with a number of different choices. Love this quote and it describes exactly how I have been feeling:

“Living with integrity means: Not settling for less than what you know you deserve in your relationships. Asking for what you want and need from others. Speaking your truth, even though it might create conflict or tension. Behaving in ways that are in harmony with your personal values. Making choices based on what you believe, and not what others believe.”
-Barbara De Angelis

Just a few of my fave tunes right now, some are repeats...some are new...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7YFAP4myMw&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMiSZzHvBeM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9A9TvZSE9E&feature=related

~Pennies~

Watch these videos....fo funny...put a smile on my face tonight...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NFCjppyOkS0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLpOjXOMFkg

09/09/09

Had to write a blog today...September 9, 2009...09/09/09.

Not much to say, but I absolutely love the numbers...

A good day to ask the difficult questions and hope for an honest answer...

Los amigos no se mentir ...

~Aspen Part II~

Another quote that I wanted to mention after finishing the book...I even folded down the page after reading it so that I would make sure not to forget it...

"I'll fail you," she whispered. "Sooner or later, I'll fail you."

And, another quote that reminds me so much of a friend that sees and hears everything that is said, even silence...

"You've heard everything I said from the moment you met me - everything I said and didn't say."

Really enjoyed the book...really enjoyed the message of the book...

~Aspen~

Was reading a new book - actually an old book but still new to me - and I found this very interesting page...love it...

Quote #1: "Sometimes a person can't be rescued, though. It's too late. "

Quote #2: "It's never too late, but it's always up to the individual. I'm only a...well, a catalyst, but maybe I can help a little."

Kinda conflicting quotes...I guess life is constantly a conflict...internal or external...

~October?~

I think when you know something is about to happen there is much anticipation...then, when it actually happens there is some sort of relief...followed by emotions - sadness, happiness, a box of mixed feelings. I guess that is how I felt the last few days. VERY happy, but also VERY sad...I know that none of us can predict the future or the paths ahead, but can hope that the paths lead those close to us to places and things that make them happy and complete.



So...to my close friend, I wish happiness and many, many events that make you complete...

I love this new song. Actually was featured tonight on my fave show 'One Tree Hill"...Anyway, love, love, love it. The new artist is Kate Voegele and her voice is amazing. The song is actually one of those "cuddle on the sofa" songs...very sweet...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vh7OU-x4DBo

Also, watched Kid Rock tonight...amazing!...and, he wore two different styles of aviators during his performances...love them...

;)

~September~

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tHRSw38OtQ

Still silent...not much to say...

~So Much~

So much to say yet I don't/won't say it...Actually, kinda weird that I am at this point...I usually speak my mind...

~Complete~

Feeling much more complete tonight...

Not really out of my rough days, but I keep reminding myself that I have it easy compared to some people, some situations...nothing in my life is a real catastrophe...so, this too shall pass...

Love these quotes...not sure who said them all, but someone did...eek, hate to not give credit where credit is due...

“Laughter is the shock absorber that eases the blows of life” ~Anonymous

“Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.” ~Maya Angelou

“An optimist laughs to forget, a pessimist forgets to laugh.” ~Anonymous

(I think Anonymous is aka for "no one can remember")...

~Rough~

Kinda having a rough few days, but this too shall pass, right?

Below are some quotes that make me smile when I think about my rough days.

“Maybe you don't like your job, maybe you didn't get enough sleep, well nobody likes their job, nobody got enough sleep. Maybe you just had the worst day of your life, but you know, there's no escape, there's no excuse, so just suck up and be nice.” ~ Ani Difranco

"The only difference between a good day and a bad day is your attitude." ~Dennis S. Brown

"If you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change. If you're in a good situation, don't worry it'll change." ~ John A. Simone, Sr.

"When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on." ~Franklin D. Roosevelt

~Spelling (Mis)~

The funniest thing happened today...a friend connected age to academics...an interesting and ignorant comparison.

I mean, of course a 5 year old will not express academics (i.e. spelling) as well as as someone that is 20 or older...but, when is the threshold??...when does a person become an adult and take on the responsibility of an adult...especially an educated adult?

Here is the scenario...an educated individual working for an education-related company sent an e-mail riddled with words that were not spelled correctly. I made the comment that I cannot believe that a person that is supposedly educated would send an email as such...anyway, my friend (who is usually super critical) made comment that she was only about 28...as if that made it okay!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is it okay to be 28 and send e-mails with misspelled words? OR, is it only okay until 35? 40? When?

Here are some other age things that make me wonder...
Is there an age limit connected to...

• Partying
• Living with your parents
• Spending your parents' money
• Buying a house
• Getting married
• Going to college
• Being respectful
• Ordering your own food at a restaurant
• Doing laundry
• Buying a car
• Banking

Hmmmmmmmmmmm...is age really a factor? Aren't we all the same relative age? I am sure I could right an equation for that...:)

~FW~

Songs I heard on my way home from Ft. Worth that I love...not new, but still in love with them...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rs38lKxmtI4&feature=fvst

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QbtOhz3mWnc

~Do you?~

Do you...?

Do you love what you do?
Do you love where you live?
Do you love the people around you?
Do you know that you are blessed each day you take a breath?
Do you appreciate your friends?
Do you tell your family how much they mean to you?
Do you forgive and forget...or just forgive?
Do you sing out loud to music and feel free?
Do you put your children first always?
Do you know someone elses deepest, darkest secrets and never tell?
Do you laugh?
Do you smile?
Do you make a point to send thoughtful notes and words to other people?
Do you live free of guilt and remorse or does it consume you daily?
Do you ever feel like jumping off a cliff?
Do you wish you could change events in your life?
Do you wish you had more money...or do you think you have too much?
Do you want to make a difference?

Do you love life?
Do you live life?
Do you...?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1PK2R0IwCiY

~Love it~

By E.E. Cummings...

~i carry your heart with me~

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart) i am never without it

(anywhere i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)

i fear no fate

(for you are my fate, my sweet)

i want no world

(for beautiful you are my world, my true)

and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart

(i carry it in my heart)

-Crossroads-

My favorite clips from the Taylor Swift - Def Leppard Crossroads gig:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kq2ml87LJ90&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrWu6OkizG0&feature=related


And, some of my other listening favorites right now...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14IkH-Jvan0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0---Q97pG4

And, this one just because I love these two soooooooooo much!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjDmdiE-Bvg

~Story~

Never been a John Mayer fan...beginning to like some of his stuff...but, both of the songs are originals of other artists remade by him...so, not sure if I like him or the song...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ztthZZG24XU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLW6G6LYLt4&feature=channel

I suppose that it is the song and not the person...the story rather than the words...or maybe both....

~Tough Times!`

I had somewhat of a rough weekend...nothing that won't pass with time, I suppose. It seems, though, if bad luck is to be had...then it is definitely to be had by me! I always feel that a person determines his/her own fate, but sometimes the unexpected happens and that fate is changed.

I do think that my weekend was rough, but in comparison to what others are going through, my weekend was "lame" (as my 6 year old would say)!!! I definitely think that you are only given what you can handle, so if someone thinks that I am strong enough to handle my recent events...then, I will roll with the punches...get back up and jump in the game of life again!

My dad used to have a bumper sticker on his truck with this quote:
"Tough times don't last, but tough people do!"

I always loved that quote...it was geared to the events of the economy in the 80s, but could also be associated with my stream of bad luck.

Well, if nothing else I found some fabulous songs this weekend...downloading them into my phone now (the phone I dropped in the water the first day I had it). On somewhat of a country kick right now...

Enjoy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hZQzbjU3z0&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pR_NncIZo9s

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKgUxcQnL4I

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rl8tFkd-qzs&feature=related

~GreenDay~

Loving GreenDay right now...some of their new and some of their old...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IR6uz_VTCUo&feature=related

In my opinion, this song is AMAZING! It really details the unpredictability of life and how that unpredictability should be cherished. I will continue to cherish the unpredictable.

~playlist~

Playlist...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27rCC4DNJIg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKyEo-P4zik

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8v9yUVgrmPY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVwFeQpy_Us

~Rainbows~

Two rain showers in less than a week...Two rainbows in less than a week. It made me wonder what the colors of the rainbow symbolize...Here is what I found...

V-Violet: Violet is a combination of the colors red and blue. This is the highest and the subtlest specialization of light. This is because it is at the opposite end of the red color. This color is viewed as the completion as well as the beginning of the energy vibration. Different shades of violet have varied meanings. A deep purple symbolizes high spiritual attainment and a pale shade symbolizes love for humanity. The shade violet brings about a stabilizing factor to the frenzied shades of red.

I-Indigo: The color indigo means infinity. It also symbolizes wisdom and self-mastery. The indigo color is known to be the bridge between the finite and the infinite.

B-Blue: Blue is known as the color of divinity. This is the color of the open skies and the oceans. Using the color blue in our daily lives is said to bring about a peace and understanding. This color also helps to soothe and relax.

G-Green: The color green is formed with the merging of yellow and blue. Therefore, this is located in the center of the spectrum. The color green, symbolizes harmony, balance, growth and good health.

Y-Yellow: The color yellow is vibrant in itself being close to the color of the sun. This is known to be full of energy. Yellow also means something bright and happy and the usage of this color is know to bring about a proper clarity of thought in a persons mind and also improve the decision making skills.

O-Orange: The color, orange is a combination of red and yellow. This is not as fiery as red and but symbolizes a lot of energy and wisdom as well. Although dynamic, the color orange is more thoughtful and controlled. This color can increase the creativity of the person and bring about equilibrium in life.

R-Red: This is the color of energy and enthusiasm. This is also the color with the longest wavelength. Red symbolizes passion, energy, vibrancy and success.

So, it made me think of which color most feeds my personality. Next time, when looking for a rainbow I will be looking for red...I think my energy feeds off of the red wavelength and makes me the energetic, passionate person that I am. Which color feeds you...???

~Frogs~

My mom shared this with me...I LOVE it!

Once upon a time there was a bunch of tiny frogs who arranged a running competition. The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower. A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants.... The race began.... Honestly: No one in crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower. You heard statements such as: "Oh, WAY too difficult!!" "They will NEVER make it to the top." or: "Not a chance that they will succeed. The tower is too high!"

The tiny frogs began collapsing. One by one. Except for those, who in a fresh tempo, were climbing higher and higher.... The crowd continued to yell, "It is too difficult!!! No one will make it!"

More tiny frogs got tired and gave up.... But ONE continued higher and higher and higher....This one wouldn't give up!

At the end everyone else had given up climbing the tower. Except for the one tiny frog who, after a big effort, was the only one who reached the top! THEN all of the other tiny frogs naturally wanted to know how this one frog managed to do it?

A contestant asked the tiny frog how he had found the strength to succeed and reach the goal?
It turned out....That the winner was DEAF!!!!

The wisdom of this story is:
Never listen to other people's tendencies to be negative or pessimistic.... because they take your most wonderful dreams and wishes away from you -- the ones you have in your heart! Always think of the power words have. Because everything you hear and read will affect your actions!

Therefore: ALWAYS be.... POSITIVE! And above all: Be DEAF when people tell YOU that you cannot fulfill your dreams!

~Worth the Listen~

I LOVE this new song, new band...love it...definitely worth the listen...

http://www.totallyfuzzy.net/ourtube/zac-brown-band/whatever-it-is-video_023cf81b3.html

~Underestimate~

Used this in a meeting today:

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. ~Leo Buscaglia

Love it!

It is truly amazing to me how one person can make another feel...

During a hectic week, a friend of mine sent me flowers. It made me stop, appreciate the gesture, and slow life down...realizing that small things like this really make a difference in a person's life...I actually felt refreshed, appreciated, and happy that I have people like this in my life!

Also, last week a group of students that I had been working with told me "thank you"....something that is rarely uttered out of the mouth of a teen...it really made me feel like I had made a difference, if nothing else...I had given them confidence.

It is truly amazing to me how one person can make another feel...

~Teamwork~

What is on my mind...

“Talent wins games, but teamwork and intelligence wins championships.” ~Michael Jordan

“If I teach them nothing else, they will learn about teamwork, ... We do not leave anyone alone. If we don't do it together, we don't do it.” ~Dennis Hall

"Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. The ability to direct individual accomplishments toward organizational objectives. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results." ~Andrew Carnegie

~Words~

Are all words created equal? Do all words have the same meaning?



My thoughts...if all words are created equal, and you believe the words that you are uttering, you should be able to say them in front of anyone...right?



OR, is this where the filter comes into play...???



Do we filter words because of situation or circumstance?



Love this quote...

“I do not agree with a word that you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it”

~Voltaire



One point of confusion with me today...I am sooooooooooooo tolerant of extreme behavior and words and actions and lifestyles...that today, I offended someone who is the complete opposite...today, a friend told me of a conservative action and I totally snubbed the idea (not really with words, but with tone and body language). I didn't mean to and at the time I didn't realize it. It wasn't until later that I realized that I have become so tolerant of radical behaviors that I was not tolerant of the opposite - conservatism.

This is something that I will work on - and, if it is any consolation...conservative ideas help me grow as a person...and experience ideology that I have not experienced in life...

~Playlist~

Just a few songs that I love right now...totally random selection...enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7G2DtIXXPD4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jcJz-x6idd8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ip1zsUIosoA&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PY45DkaP9Ls

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FqA2WINPF4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVLkRWcH2zM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJlNAxnOn_g

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMiSZzHvBeM

~Avoidance~

I have learned...well, uncovered...a new quirk to my personality (although it isn't actually new!). I always knew that I played the "avoidance" game really well...and, now I know that is soooooooooo true! Today I was visiting with a friend and when the conversation became too deep, I wanted/needed to escape (typically, I walk away if I can't handle the conversation!)...problem being that I was at 40,000 feet above the ground...with no where to go...AHHHHHHHHHH....Anyway, I guess the moral of the story that I decided on was that if someone needs to tell me something deep then just put me on an airplane because there is no escape!!!!!!!!

I love this quote about avoidance...it really sums up what I do when I get information that "stresses" me out or raises my blood pressure or makes me crazy...

“Avoid the crowd. Do your own thinking independently. Be the chess player, not the chess piece.” ~Anonymous~

I will rewrite the quote...I am positive that ~Anonymous~ won't care...LOL...that was really funny....to say:

“Avoid stressful conversations. Be the chess player, not the chess piece.”

But, in the end...the conversation was worthy of my attention and because I was at 40,000 feet with no where to go, I did not avoid anything and actually felt better...

So, note to self...work on avoidance...stop worrying about the chess game...with true friends, there are no games.

~Travels~

I just returned from a trip with a group of colleagues. We had a great time...we really all enjoy the company of one another. Each person is different and adds a certain quirkiness to our conversations. We all have very different interests and lives, but when we come together we do more than tolerate each other...we laugh, and giggle, and make fun of each other...but all in fun. So, tonight, I raise my "starbucks" to them and the fun we shared together...:)

~Thoughts Tonite~

Things I am thinking about...

Just pondering tonight how a person knows when his or her expertise is valued...Is it necessary to have an employer pay more money to show value OR to give additional incentives to show value? This is really something that I have wondered about for years...what does it mean to be valued and is that intrinsic?...OR, should value be equated to more money, more stuff, more, more, more...??? The problem is that my only real work experience is in education...which could be a skewed perception of reality...my dad always says that he always figures out a way to pay his best welder more $$$...but, I can't decide which side of the fence of this issue that I fall on...because I truly believe in TEAMWORK and that everyone on the team should be somewhat equal...give or take a few bucks...so, it confuses me when someone breaks away from the team...still pondering that one! And, breaking away from the team is about more than just $$$...

My mom always says that good things happen to good people...today, it seems that a not-so-good thing happened to a good person...OR, is it that I just can't see the forest for the trees...hmmmm...

And, the last thing tonight that I have questionned is my ability to live in a small town...and, the verdict is that I cannot, will not, might not live in a small town...:) I decided on several requirements that MUST be followed: 1) A Target within 30 miles; 2) An airport with commercial airlines within 30 miles; 3) A STARBUCKS!!!!; 4) And, the students cannot miss class for Ag Day or the County Stock Show!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

:) Leaving with several quotes...

“Life is either a great adventure or nothing.” ~Helen Keller

“Life is uncharted territory. It reveals its story one moment at a time.” ~Leo Buscaglia

~Smile!~

It is amazing to me that I have truly fabulous friends that care so deeply about me and the things I love...

“Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.”

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

And, this quote is just one that I love...

“Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.”

~all quoted from Maya Angelou~

~Routines~

Routines are really not my style..well, the only routine that I have is that I stop at Starbucks every morning...and, that is really out of necessity and not routine. Basically, I know that I cannot wake up until I have a venti cup of CAFFEINE...

So, I didn't think I was a "routine" person or that my personality needed routines until I was out of my routine today. But, it wasn't the different routine that got me...it was not seeing those faces that I enjoy seeing that I missed the most! So...to those that I did not see today, it was a quiet day in my world and I hope to be back on my "routine" soon...:)

This is how I really feel about routines...but, not about the routine people that I love to see...
“As long as habit and routine dictate the pattern of living, new dimensions of the soul will not emerge.” -Henry Van Dyke

And, missing those faces today really made me value those that truly care about me..

“Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer.” -Ed Cunningham-

“You meet people who forget you. You forget people you meet. But sometimes you meet those people you can't forget. Those are your 'friends.'” -Dana Scully-

~KEYS!!!~

Tonight, I wasted 4 HOURS looking for my car keys...UGH!!!!!!!!!!!

About 30 minutes after I got home this afternoon, I noticed that I needed to unload some things from the car...just to find that my keys were MIA! I mean, the car did not drive itself home so I knew that they had to be somewhere in my house. And, to narrow it down...I had only been in three rooms. Well, I sometimes think that I am losing my mind when stuff like this happens and tonight was another perfect example how sometimes I just cannot get it together!

Soooo, I missed a tball game because of it and my parents had to bail me out...UGH!!!

Mainly, I never worry about where I put things or how organized I am because in the end, it won't really matter...but the thought of having my car rekeyed because I am an idiot kinda made me kick it in gear and decide that I was going to make a conscious effort to do better...I guess only time will tell!

It's weird tho that my mind can focus on very detailed things and very complex things, but cannot focus on common sense stuff...weird!

Maybe this quote is true...
"It is a thousand times better to have common sense without education than to have education
without common sense." -Robert Green Ingersoll

OR this one is true...
Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their common sense." - Gertrude Stein

Maybe my brain is just on overload...

~Daughters~

I love this song...for no other reason that it is beautiful and beautifully sung...makes me smile every time I hear it!

I know a girl
She puts the color inside of my world
but she’s just like a maze
Where all of the walls all continually change
And I’ve done all I can
To stand on her steps with my heart in my hand
Now I’m starting to see
Maybe it’s got nothing to do with me

Fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

Ooh, you see that skin?
It’s the same she’s been standing in
Since the day she saw him walking away
Now she’s left cleaning up the mess he made

So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

Boys, you can break
You find out how much they can take
Boys will be strong
And boys soldier on
But boys would be gone without warmth from
A woman’s good, good heart
On behalf of every man
looking out for every girl
You are the god and the weight of her world

So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters, too
So mothers be good to your daughters, too
So mothers be good to your daughters, too.

~Quite a Week!~

Just a few quotes to show how I am feeling this week...some of my favorites!

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." —Dr. Seuss

"I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." —Marilyn Monroe

"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect." —Mark Twain

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." —Ralph Waldo Emerson

"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and to endure the betrayal of false friends. To appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded." —Bessie Anderson Stanley

"A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you." —Elbert Hubbard

~Happy Day!~

Happy Earth Day! Today is the perfect day to celebrate our Earth and to learn ways to help save the planet.

I came across several interesting articles today about recycling and conserving energy so that our resources last longer...making Earth a great planet for many, many years to come.

Tips that I find helpful:

• Use reusable containers to store lunch items...instead of plastic bags. (And, please do not reuse the plastic bags!!!!!!)
• Take your own bag to the store OR at least request paper...plastic bags are horrible!
• Turn out lights when you are not in a room...use lamps versus flourescent lights...buy GREEN (no, not the color green) bulbs...more expensive, but last longer!
• Turn the water OFF when brushing your teeth...and, always fix a leaky faucet!
• Quit buying cheap batteries that just get thrown away...buy reusable, rechargeable ones.

I LOVE Starbuck's cups...and, for the most part because they are paper they are earth friendly. But, even Starbucks is doing their part by offering a discount to those customers that reuse a cup...so...take your own mug to Starbucks and save a tree!!!!!!!

Also, noticed at Jersey Girl pizza this weekend that they use compost friendly cups...the cups are made from corn...gotta love it!!!

So, take a moment today and plan out one way you can help save this planet...

Interesting statistic:

The US produces half of the world's garbage, but has only 6% of the world's people! In the US, each person generates about 4.3 pounds of trash a day. For a family of four, that's 6278 pounds, or more than THREE TONS of trash each year!

~Communicate!~

So many different ways to communicate...just fascinated with the many different ways to connect a conversation...

Good communication quotes...

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.
~Anne Morrow Lindbergh

When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.
~Ernest Hemingway

Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.
~Rudyard Kipling

~Teachers~

A phrase that I heard today stuck out in my head..and I tried to rid my brain of it, but some things stick around for awhile...and, this is one of them!

The phrase had to do with teaching and teachers specifically teaching advanced students. The person that irritated me with the phrase stated that teachers of advanced students should know the content of the course very well because they teach advanced students...hmmm...had to ponder that one...came up with these questions...

In general, are teachers of advanced students better teachers than those of general ed teachers (if effective instructional strategies and time on task were actually measured, that is)?

In general, do teachers of advanced students have to plan more than general ed teachers?

In general, are teachers that teach advanced students usually those that have been on the campus the longest?

In general, if teachers of advanced students were swapped with teachers of regular students, could those teachers of advanced students handle the discipline? and differentiation? and inclusion? and large number of students? and tutorials? and TAKS pressure? and, and, and...this could be like a BAD episode of Wife Swap...FRICKIN' HILARIOUS!

Anyway, I don't have the answers to these questions...maybe the generalization of AP teachers specifically irritated me because I have not ever taught AP. pre-AP, or advanced students of any kind...and I think I know the content fairly well...

Oh well, this too shall pass...:)

~Differences~

It is really exhausting to spend a day listening to generalizations and big picture ideas when I am more detail oriented. This is kind of what happened to me today. I really tend to want to get down to the "nitty gritty" quickly and plan out ideas based on a schedule and timeframe versus planning based on ideas and content. It is a struggle to work opposite of that and try to solve problems without first setting the parameters.

It will definitely be added to my list of things to work on...I need to be adaptable and change my style based on those surrounding me...and if we need to lead others by using sweeping generalizations, big picture ideas, and global thoughts...then, so be it...I will wave my magic wand and make it work!

~Stupidity~

Coined phrase of the day...

~stupidity constraints~

I loved these two words and when used in context with public education...they are beautiful and on target for describing the "here and now" of education...

I guess the question is why we continue to do things that we know are not helpful and possibly harmful...Are we bound by stupid actions from the past and can't escape...hmmm...GO FIGURE!

~Likes?~

A funny thing happened today that really made me think...a friend pointed out to me that some of my "likes" don't seem to mesh with the rest of me...so I took some time to think about that and this is what I came up with...

I love all sorts of things and pride myself in being versatile and knowledgeable and well-versed in a variety of areas...yes, I know more about some things than others, but basically I am a very curious personality...I want to know what is going on at all times and surround myself with books and magazines and people and tv shows that keep me jumping...I hate to have my mind slow down so I am constantly moving and thinking and reading and doing...(the same friend that pointed this out to me would also be APALLED at my run-on sentences!!! LOL)...

So, the point is that I read all sorts of things, look at all sorts of things, converse about all sorts of things...and I do it proudly and sometimes, even without reason.

Quote of the day:
Curiosity is the very basis of education and if you tell me that curiosity killed the cat, I say only the cat died nobly. ~Arnold Edinborough

~Say What You Mean, or not~

I am all for saying what you mean...but, have now realized that maybe that shouldn't happen in certain situations. Some people need to carefully plan words before letting them run wild out of their mouths...almost like needing a filter. I have been around several people lately that just say how they are feeling, say what they think, and even say things that hurt other peoples feelings...I am really tired of hearing these things...because, everyone needs a filter of sorts...maybe the filter could just be a 30 second delay so that thought can go into the words that are about to escape...or the filter could strain out the mean words so that the information comes across as more politically correct...or, the filter could be DUCT TAPE!!!!!!!!! That could work too...

Now, on the other hand...intentionally keeping information from others is just as bad to me...having important information that could potentially alter another person's day/life/work should not necessarily be filtered...and instead, be upfront, given information...

If we filter the right things, potentially everyone would work and live more harmoniously...potentially, I guess...I might still be a skeptic!

I don't usually even ackowledge quotes from "anonymous" or "unknown" because someone HAD to say it..but, I love this so much that I am going to break my rule...and I never break the rules...haha...RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.

~Age~

I have always said that age is irrelevant and that we are all the same age in some arithmetic sequence...I am sure I could write an equation for this...

So...for my friend that mentions age to me...

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
~Mark Twain

~Trust~

Just read over my last blog...really sounds like I have trust issues...maybe need to revise it...maybe not...

Things I am thankful for today:
~t-ball as entertainment...so funny to see those little ones eating dirt and picking weeds
~new tires
~iTunes
~that I am not working Saturday school
~venti Starbucks X 2
~friends that care even if I am stubborn
~Target (wish it was a Super)
~electricity, a paycheck and running water
~that I was not in NYC today..or in Fargo

:)

~Speak Up?~

Follow the path of the unsafe, independent thinker. Expose your ideas to the dangers of controversy. Speak your mind and fear less the label of 'crackpot' than the stigma of conformity. And on issues that seem important to you, stand up and be counted at any cost.
~Thomas Watson


Right now, I am torn between several things...several things that I cannot take my mind off of...

I have always been the one to speak out, give my opinion, be independent, and to not conform if I believe in something...

but, with the same breath I have always been the helper, the loyalist, the friend...but, Am I being used? Is anyone loyal to me? Would anyone help me? Not sure how you ever find the answer to those questions...still soul searching...maybe you never really know a person...hmmm...

Maybe this idea of noncomformity stems from growing up in a family that empowered everyone to speak up, speak out, and stand up...but, now I am tired because when I look around it seems that I am alone in speaking up, speaking out, and standing up...maybe that's a sign...a sign to shut my mouth, go along with others, free my mind and my heart...

Maybe standing up for what is right is pointless...pointless because it ends up feeling lonely...and, that makes me tired and leary...and truthfully, I am at a point of emotional exhaustion...at a point where others can make the decisions, make the rules, organize the game...

Too tired to deal with it...

~As they Are?~

We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are.
-Anais Nin.

~Addiction Part 2~

So, today I did have Starbucks...but only 1...actually went by a 2nd time, but the line was too long so I left...

But, then I had a really bad headache. A friend mentioned that I take Excedrin migraine so I bought some this evening. The funny part is that the two ingredients in this medication are acetaminophen and CAFFEINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, basically I should have just gone to Starbucks after all and popped a few tylenol as I sipped the coffee...would have been much more enjoyable.

~Addiction~

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever. ~David Letterman

Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee. ~Stephanie Piro


Today I had two Starbucks cups of coffee...hmmm, and on my way home I actually contemplated swinging by Starbucks for a night cap...this is potentially an addiction.

But, the thing is that it really is a good thing that I am drinking coffee...because I have sort of a whacked out personality that is slightly addictive...soooooooooo, I have to have something to feed it. Coffee is slightly inexpensive, legal, and has few calories (unless you go for the 5 pump version, and I do not). So, what harm could it do, right? It could be worse, I could be addicted to something much worse...

~Friends~

What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.
~ Aristotle


"You only meet your once in a lifetime friend... once in a lifetime."

~A Cloudy Night~

Love this song...offers peace on a cloudy night...:)

Somewhere between the hot and the cold
Somewhere between the new and the old
Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me
Somewhere between the wrong and the right
Somewhere between the darkness and the light
Somewhere between who I was and who You're making me
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me
Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control
Fearless warriors in a picket fence,
reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end and we are caught in the middle
With eyes wide open to the differences,
the God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for His or are we caught in the middle
Are we caught in the middle
Somewhere between my heart and my hands
Somewhere between my faith and my plans
Somewhere between the safety of the boat and the crashing waves
Somewhere between a whisper and a roar
Somewhere between the altar and the door
Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more
Somewhere in the middle
You'll find me
Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control
Lord, I feel You in this place and I know You're by my side
Loving me even on these nights when I'm caught in the middle.

~Thankful and Blessed~

So... I made a conscious decison today to turn my attitude around as quickly as possible when I get in "the funk"...so that I don't bring others down around me...BECAUSE, we all have fabulous lives, it justs takes a moment or two (or a week!) to realize that!

I have a job (hopefully my contract was renewed tonight!), a somewhat dysfunctional family that includes people that all mean well, some money in the bank, a roof over my head, two beautiful, healthy children and great friends...what more could I ask for, right?

So, when work OR tires OR major decisions get in my way, I promise to snap out of "the funk" as quickly as possible and remind myself of the fabulousness that is MY LIFE!!...I will turn to those people who mean the most and SNAP out of it!

Things I am thankful for:
-a car that runs (even if the tires SUCK!)
-a great house with a yard that my kids can play in
-close friends that mean the world to me...those that I see daily and those that I see not as often
-a fabulous, opinionated, pushy, loud family
-emergency money locked in the gun safe
-a full mailbox
-health insurance (just heard on the news that in 2008 Medical Center spent 54 million dollars on the uninsured!!! for medical treatment...SHOCKING!)
-internet access most of the time
-a cell phone that calls out but keeps my talking to a minimum as it shuts off after about 12 minutes
-cute shoes!
-a brain that allows me to make somewhat educated decisions
-a heart that allows me to change my mind about those educated decisions
-AND every single day that I am given and every breathe I take!

:)

~Laugh~

Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.
--Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

This quote made me laugh hysterically because I would do anything to avoid cleaning!! Interesting, though, that I always have to have a clean house...:)

~Work, Work, Work~

Spent the day slaving over household chores! I completely realize that these are part of owning a home and having stability in life, but for goodness sakes it would be great to have someone else do the work...basically, my family needs a wife!

I have never been good at domestic endeavors and never plan on improving...so, is it so horrible to refuse these chores? What would happen if I stopped cleaning and doing laundry? I can't even imagine the answer to that question, so for now, I will continue to keep my family living in a clean house with clean clothes on their backs!...! Even though the process is miserable for me!

The goal, however, is to make enough money to have someone else clean weekly and do my laundry...I don't need help raising my kids, just help with the things that get in the way of living life! Because, I am positive that no one will remember how clean my baseboards were or how perfectly ironed my kids' clothes were...those things aren't really important in life...well, at least not to me.

~Looking Up~

Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up.
- The Reverend Jesse Jackson

This is how I want my image to be...truly one that helps others regardless of material possessions and minivan nightmares...will be working on this...

~The Minivan~

After spending several days amongst friends who care desperately about material possessions and about being the best/having the most, it really made me think about my own image and what I want to portray to others.

I have never really thought about "keeping up with the Joneses" but spending time with the Joneses will really make you look carefully at your own actions. The first thing that I noticed about myself is that driving a minivan really got under my skin...I still have the minivan and the thought of driving it to work makes me crazy! I can't quite figure out if it is because I am afraid that others will judge me to be a "soccer mom" OR if I really want people to see me as classier than a minivan. Because, certainly, someone like me can have better taste than a minivan, right?

But, should it really matter? I typically do not really care what people think of me because I know that their opinion doesn't really matter...but usually, I am more educated and more on top of my game than the person judging. In this case, I am just another minivan driver and that is driving me completely insane. I just want to hang a sign outside of the window that says, "THIS IS JUST A LOANER CAR!"

It makes me wonder why I can't just be satisifed no matter what kind of car I drive. Should I really care about the image that I portray to people as long as I know what kind of person I am? I know that I do not drive a Dodge Caravan so it shouldn't matter what others think...and what do others think? Unfortunately, I am quick to judge even though I also want my image to be one of acceptance no matter the education, the income, or the type of car driven...I need to work on this more often...since when did I become an elitist?

Even though most of my girlfriends have equal education (or at least close!) as I do, most seem satisfied with not moving their career forward and instead most of them seem happy with the image of the soccer mom...even though none drive a minivan!!...In this circle of friends, I am really the only one that cares deeply about professional image. I want people to see me in a career role and sometimes fail to let my guard down for others to see me as also a mom and a wife. It seems that I have worked so definitively over the years to create this image that the thought of even changing the car I drive from a professional look to a different look is setting me over the edge...well, not really the edge, but close...

So, I guess I do really care what people think about me...even down to material possessions. This is on my list of things to work on...well, as soon as the minivan returns to its home!

But, this too shall pass and in time I will have my car back and feel whole again.

~Greener pasture?~

Day 1 in Dallas yields me to believe that I could definitely live here...I think it fits my speed....

Is the pasture greener? Hmmm, who knows...

~Saturday the 14th~

Today was a much brighter day than yesterday...

The day began with a trip back to the car dealership...it was definitely a radiator and water pump problem which in the beginning seemed catastrophic and expensive. The "service" people were in no way willing to get us a loaner car and continued to explain over and over again that they have a policy prohibiting this. I found that particularly amusing because this same dealership has given us a loaner car numerous times before...even after explaining that this wasn't my first rodeo, we got nothing...:(

Anyway, we were in the process of basically cancelling our trip or at least postponing the trip when the "fixer" guy walked up to us along with the men telling us they could not help us with a loaner car. Cue Davis crying...on purpose...just to make the situation worse...that must be my evil side again...:)

The "fixer" guy asked, "Did you have your tires rotated?" We responded with, "No, those tires are non-rotating." The "service" guy explained to the "fixer" guy that they had already had many issues with the Seybert's tires and that the dealership had replaced them a few months ago for this very issue. So...the "fixer" guy said, "Well, we have a problem then because those tires are on BACKWARDS!~!"

(THIS TIRE ISSUE HAS CAUSED MY CAR TO WORK OVERTIME THUS RESULTING IN MY ENGINE BASICALLY EXPLODING)

SO FRICKIN' HILARIOUS!!!!!!! Well, I was laughing so I wouldn't cry!!!!!!!!!

At this point, our friendly "service" guy was speechless and basically "FOLDED LIKE AN ACCORDIAN"...he excused himself, got the owner and within 2 minutes we had our pick of car off the lot...

So, Saturday the 14th has been a much better day than Friday the 13th...

~Is it a sign?~

Noting that one of the major annoyances in my life right now is my car...the Cadillac SRX...it would only be normal in my life for something to go wrong yet again with this vehicle.

Late this afternoon, only hours before leaving for a week long vacation, this car decides to basically blow up...antifreeze spraying everywhere...oil leaking at a rapid rate...and smoke. This definitely could not be a good sign...so, after hours of the service people trying to fix it, we finally made it to the owner's office...who, of course, was not that helpful. Anyway, we must return tomorrow to see if it is fixable or if we will have a loaner car for the trip...I am betting against both...but, we'll see.

So, the question is...Is it a sign? Is this a sign that we should stay home, tend to other matters, spring clean, organize, rest...Or, should I just chalk the entire experience up to the fact that it is Friday the 13th...??? Who knows...I guess our fate rests in the hands of the so-called service experts at the dealership who will potentially fix this issue before 9am...to be continued...

~Annoyed~

As I drove home today...rather late...I made a mental list of what is currently annoying me:

-people that refuse to seek help on something that is completely out of his/her league

-people that only see rules as rules with NO EXCEPTIONS

-people that yell at children...even the biggest, worst kid

-friends that keep certain things undercover

-people that don't turn cellphones on silent in meetings

-FAKE facial expressions

-harnessing things!!!!!!!!

-people that don't see the big picture

-that we have to get mail everyday...who has time to get to the mailbox??

-rude people

-ignoring equity or even proportionality at all costs

-Cadillac SRX

-oaoa.com

-that Starbucks is frequently out of coffee when I arrive and I have to wait...how can a coffee shop let the coffee run out????????????

-impatience

~Stupidity~

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
--Albert Einstein

~Stand up~

You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.
-Winston Churchill