~Speak Up?~

Follow the path of the unsafe, independent thinker. Expose your ideas to the dangers of controversy. Speak your mind and fear less the label of 'crackpot' than the stigma of conformity. And on issues that seem important to you, stand up and be counted at any cost.
~Thomas Watson


Right now, I am torn between several things...several things that I cannot take my mind off of...

I have always been the one to speak out, give my opinion, be independent, and to not conform if I believe in something...

but, with the same breath I have always been the helper, the loyalist, the friend...but, Am I being used? Is anyone loyal to me? Would anyone help me? Not sure how you ever find the answer to those questions...still soul searching...maybe you never really know a person...hmmm...

Maybe this idea of noncomformity stems from growing up in a family that empowered everyone to speak up, speak out, and stand up...but, now I am tired because when I look around it seems that I am alone in speaking up, speaking out, and standing up...maybe that's a sign...a sign to shut my mouth, go along with others, free my mind and my heart...

Maybe standing up for what is right is pointless...pointless because it ends up feeling lonely...and, that makes me tired and leary...and truthfully, I am at a point of emotional exhaustion...at a point where others can make the decisions, make the rules, organize the game...

Too tired to deal with it...